


Clear Magical Influence

by bluesuede



Series: Fall Prompt Fics [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Sassy Alec Lightwood, Social Media, but I didn’t know what it is, i honestly love this, the first of my October prompt fics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-07-27 09:16:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16216037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluesuede/pseuds/bluesuede
Summary: alightwood: I’m not a witchalightwood: just a bitchOr yet another group chat fic





	1. Halloween Bitchesss

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y’all I am back again but this time with fall fics! This is going to be a part of a series of fall fics based on a prompt. This firt prompt is: “I’m not a witch, just a bitch.”
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this as much as I did.

**Halloween Bitchesss**

**simonsayslewis** : Conspiracy theory

 **simonsayslewis** : Alec is a witch

 **maiaray** : I cant wait to hear this shit

 **alightwood** : What the fuck

 **itsizlightwood** : I can confirm

 **jacewhatshisname** : it’s true

 **simonsayslewis:** one, he always wears black no matter the season and have I ever seen him sweat?

 **simonsayslewis** : I THINK NOT

 **simonsayslewis** : two, he is always carrying around old books with no titles on them you may ask why and I have an answer

 **alightwood** : I read

 **simonsayslewis** : SPELL BOOKS

 **mbane** : SpElL bOoKs

 **clayfray** : oh fuck simon

 **clayfray** : keep going this is getting good

 **simonsayslewis** : three, he’s hot

 **jacewhatshisname** : conspiracy theory debunked. Alec isn’t hot

 **mbane** : choke

 **alightwood** : choke bitch

 **maiaray** : simon thinks all of the Lightwood siblings are hot confirmed

 **itsizlightwood** : how does this even back your theory it’s a subjective claim and can’t be proven

 **simonsayslewis** : let me finish !!!

 **clayfray** : go on Simon

 **simonsayslewis** : as I was saying

 **simonsayslewis** : Alec’s hot and if we take a look back at freshman year

 **simonsayslewis** : [Attached Image]

 **maiaray** : oh my GOD

 **alightwood** : You’re dead to me

 **mbane** : darling you were precious

 **simonsayslewis** : there has clearly been some magical influence here, once short now tall, once stringy now a beef cake, once blind now he can see

 **alightwood** : I wear contacts dumbass

 **mbane** : I think you may be right Simon

 **itsizlightwood** : what

 **jacewhatshisname** : what

 **clayfray** : okay what the fuck

 **clayfray** : Alec really is a witch,,,

 **alightwood** : I’m not a witch

 **alightwood** : Just a bitch

 **mbane** : I beg to differ, you are the sweetest person I know

 **jacewhatshisname** : Alec once threw a pillow at my head because I was “being stupid”

 **jacewhatshisname** : I was watching tv

 **simonsayslewis** : for a month of sophomore year Alec acted like he couldn’t hear a thing I said because I asked him if minions evolved from bananas

 **jacewhatshisname** : dumbass

 **clayfray** : one time I told him if he loved me he would bring me a slice of pizza because I was starving and he told me “starve then” 

 **maiaray** : I once seen Alec look at a kid in the hallway and the kid ran into the wall trying to get away from him

 **mbane** : whenever I’m having a bad day Alexander will read me to sleep while we cuddle

 **mbane** : one time in the middle of the night I was really craving chocolate and he went to the store and bought me some I didn’t even ask him to 

 **mbane** : he always watches cartoons with me even though he hates them because I like them and he never complains

 **itsizlightwood** : Alec will always divert the attention from me to himself when our parents are in bad moods

 **mbane** : if that makes him a bitch then so be it but he will never cease to be magical in my eyes

 **mbane** : I love you Alexander

 **mbane** : my little witch

 **alightwood** : I love you too 

 **clayfray** : ADOPT ME DADS 

 **simonsayslewis** : fuck

 **simonsayslewis** : that’s just too cute wtf

 **itsizlightwood** : I will never get over how soft Alec is with Magnus im crying

 **jacewhatshisname** : I take it back you arENT A BITCH ALEC 

 **alightwood** : I’m not soft 

 **alightwood** : And im still a bitch 

 **maiaray** : shut up you big ole softie you know it’s true 

 **alightwood** : I hate all of you

 **itsizlightwood** : we love you too

 

  

**alightwood > mbane**

 

 **alightwood** : I love you so much Magnus 

 **mbane** : I love you too darling 

 **mbane** : and just so you know, you aren’t a bitch Alexander. You are the best person I know

 **alightwood** : Thank you Magnus 

 **mbane** : of course. it’s true Alexander

 

 

 

 


	2. SteveIrwinDeservedBetter2k18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here I am again with another chapter. Is it still a mess and plotless but writing this makes me happy so here we are. If you have stuck around, I hope y’all enjoy this chapter!

**SteveIrwinDeservedBetter2k18**

**jacewhatshisname:** Hey Simon 

**jacewhatshisname:** heard you twisted your ankle today

**jacewhatshisname:** dumbass

**clayfray:** it was so funny omfg 

**simonsayslewis:** in my defense it was a big rock 

**clayfray:** that shit was a pebble Simon

**clayfray:** a pebble.

**clayfray:** I’ll show you guys how big it was

**clayfray:** .

**mbane:** would anyone mind going over the finer details of what led to Simon spraining his ankle

**clayfray:** okay so we were outside collecting leaves for biology and Simon seen a really cool leaf so he started to run

**alightwood:** lmao 

**maiaray:** what’s so funny Alec

**alightwood:** Simon running

**maiaray:** that’s valid

**simonsayslewis:** fuck you Alec you emo ass tree

**jacewhatshisname:** bars

**alightwood:** say it to my face Lewis

**itsizlightwood:** fight fight fight 

**mbane:** you can do this darling

**simonsayslewis:** I can’t fight Alec 

**maiaray:** cause you’ll die ??

**simonsayslewis:** no I have a sprained ankle

**simonsayslewis:** and possibly cause I’ll die

**jacewhatshisname:** Alec could stomp you 

**jacewhatshisname:** like literally stomp on you

**clayfray:** and while he was running he stepped on a pebble and when down 

**clayfray:** hard

**clayfray:** I’m still laughing about it that shit was so funny

**simonsayslewis:** so I have an application for a new best friend if anyone wants to sign up

**alightwood:** fuck no

**mbane:** no

**jacewhatshisname:** no 

**maiaray:** no 

**itsizlightwood:** ass: clapped

**alightwood:** Jace is literally sobbing right now because he laughed too hard Iz 

**mbane:** stop for a second

**mbane:** darling

**mbane:** do you want to go out to dinner tonight? 

**alightwood:** I would love to Magnus

**mbane:** I’ll be there at 7 

**alightwood:** okay 

**jacewhatshisname:** get that sappy shit out my face 

**clayfray:** don’t you ever speak to me or my fathers like that ever again

**maiaray:** I just-

**itsizlightwood:** fight me bitch 

**simonsayslewis:** first of all,,,

**simonsayslewis:** fuck all of you

**simonsayslewis:** second

**simonsayslewis:** can anyone bring me chocolate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw I never explained this but Maia’s username is based off “Manta Ray” which is a type of sting ray but I changed it to Maiaray because in the show she studies marine biology.  
> Also I do promise to try and fit some plot into the story soon.


	3. How To Buy a House 101: Marry a White Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone I am back with an update on my favorite fic to write. I hope everyone enjoys it and make sure to let me know what you think in the comments

**How To Buy a House 101: Marry a White Man**  


**simonsayslewis:** It’s Christmas season bitches

**itsizlightwood:** yeah

**itsizlightwood:** fuck thanksgiving that fake bitch

**mbane:** facts

**mbane:** it’s a holiday that celebrates the colonization and murder of Native people 

**mbane:** fuck thanksgiving 

**alightwood:** that’s right 

**alightwood:** I love my boyfriend

**mbane:** I love MY boyfriend

**jacewhatshisname:** we get it you guys are in love, now please don’t start

**clayfray:** the audacity of this man

**jacewhatshisname:** fight me fray 

**clayfray:** let’s go

**maiaray:** what

**maiaray:** what happened I just woke up

**simonsayslewis:** malec love each other and thanksgiving is a fake bitch

**maiaray:** thanks Si 

**mbane:** question

**mbane:** have any of you watched Elite on Netflix

**itsizlightwood:** YES

**simonsayslewis:** it’s another show set in high school involving a murder

**simonsayslewis:** of course I have it’s peak television 

**alightwood:** Magnus made me watch it right after he finished it 

**alightwood:** it took us one day

**mbane:** the rep just made me happy

**alightwood:** I know baby me too

**alightwood:** we love lawful gays 

**clayfray:** ,,,,

**clayfray:** I guess I have to watch it now 

**jacewhatshisname:** you had me at murder I’ll watch it today

**maiaray:** so will I

**jacewhatshisname:** wanna come over and watch it together

**maiaray:** only if you have chips

**jacewhatshisname:** we do

**maiaray:** alright I’m down

**simonsayslewis:** can I come?

**jacewhatshisname:** haven’t you already watched it?

**simonsayslewis:** yeah but I’ll wanna watch it again with you guys like

**simonsayslewis:** ,,,I would die for Omar

**simonsayslewis:** and Ander 

**simonsayslewis:** and their happiness

**alightwood:** wow mood

**jacewhatshisname:** okay come over then

**clayfray:** okay wait 

**clayfray:** wtf is up with the gc name Magnus care to explain yourself

**mbane:** I was talking about how expensive school is and that my mom said I could buy her a house cause I am going to college

**mbane:** so I said I would get her one and even marry a white man to get a house

**maiaray:** or a white Woman perhaps 

**mbane:** there’s only one person I want to marry and I’m already dating him

**itsizlightwood:** kagdkahskal

**simonsayslewis:** SOBBING

**jacewhatshisname:** okay you guys may have made some points

**maiaray:** and they were soulmates

**clayfray:** alright bitches I got homework to do chat later

**itsizlightwood:** me too 

**jacewhatshisname:** nerds

 

**simonsayslewis > mbane**

 

**simonsayslewis:** Um Magnus can I ask you a question?

**mbane:** Always Simon 

**simonsayslewis:** um I was just wondering how you knew you were bi 

**mbane:** Well I knew I liked girls growing up but as I got older I realized I also looked at guys the same way

**mbane:** it wasn’t an overnight realization, it took a while and it was confusing but now I’m happier than ever 

**mbane:** whatever you’re feeling is valid, you’re valid 

**mbane:** did you want to talk about it some more?

**simonsayslewis:** not right now if that’s okay

**simonsayslewis:** I want to think about it some more

**mbane:** of course Simon

**mbane:** when you’re ready I’m here 

**simonsayslewis:** Thank you Magnus  
  


 

**jacewhatshisname > alightwood**

 

**jacewhatshisname:** can I borrow your projector? 

**alightwood:** yeah 

**alightwood:** what are you going to use it for 

**jacewhatshisname:** I was gonna use it to watch Elite with Simon and Maia in my room

**jacewhatshisname:** set it up for the wall so we can lay on my bed and watch 

**jacewhatshisname:** is that cool?

**alightwood:** yeah just be careful with it because Magnus got that for me

**jacewhatshisname:** did he get it for you so you could practice presentations

**alightwood:** shut up 

**alightwood:** yes

**jacewhatshisname:** fucking nerd

**jacewhatshisname:** jk thanks Alec 

**jacewhatshisname:** love you bro

**alightwood:** love you too Jace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there are actually plot lines emerging now?? Who would’ve thought. Also since this is a crack fic there will be crack ships so FYI. 
> 
> Some real quotes from this chapter were “I’d even marry a white man.” and “Fuck thanksgiving that fake bitch.”

**Author's Note:**

> Here is the key for the names if anyone wanted a list:  
> alightwood- Alec  
> mbane- Magnus  
> Itsizlightwood- Izzy  
> jacewhatshisname- Jace  
> clayfray- Clary  
> simonsayslewis- Simon  
> maiaray- Maia  
> santiagoaway- Raphael  
> thatfellfellow- Ragnor  
> losscause-Catarina


End file.
